The Trunce

With Ingleborough just days away I decided to start training. I thought a race would be a good way of getting in a good session and since my colleagues at work have been dying to have a go at beating me this seemed like a good adventure (its also on my way home). I consulted the Richard Lee book of "Races where you can be sure no one will know you" (note not the recently released "When will I realise no one cares!") and it was rated thus;

1) Distance away (2*) - only 40mins away. High risk of someone being there
2) Obscurity (2*) - some people have heard of it
3) Terrain (1*) - only one short section of road.

Oh well, decided to do it anyway. Its quite a tough 4 miles. Undulating and some narrow trails. 3 river crossings too. Quite please with my 30.50 time. Try for sub 30 next time. Bring on Ingleborough

http://undeadmonkey.org.uk/trunce/index.php

PS - Chris King did it too. Richard was right.

What do Linford Christie and Jackie Carter have in common?

Answer: me

Or at least it's easy to mistake one of us top athletes for another.

During the registration process on the UK Athletics Power of 10 web site, I entered my details as requested, and it came back with:-

"based on the details you have provided we think you might be one of those below."

This was followed by a list of 11 athletes including Jackie, Linford and myself. What more can I say?

You know you're a runner when...

hello everyone and welcome to my first attempt at blogging. In a break from tradition(race reports/results/post race moaning) thought i would bring you a list i've been compiling. So here is my top 10.

you know your a runner when ?

1. Your toe nails are falling off

2. Your calves are bigger than your biceps

3. You can blow your nose with your index finger(snot rocket)

4. You know the location of all roadkill within a 5 mile radius of your club

5. You've become a professional at popping blisters

6. You have suffered one too many cases of joggers nipple

7. Gatorade/lucozade is your drug of choice

8. You know at least three different ways to tie a shoe lace

9. You can add up miles/meters/yards in your head whereas simple maths you need a calculator

10. The phrase 'moisture wicking' is a regular part of your vocabulary

Credit Crunch training tips

Here are some of my top tips for improving your results whilst avoiding the credit crunch..

1. Cancel the running magazine subscription(s)
Pure toilet paper!

The only thing they are any good for are drying out wet trainers, and you can always get a free copy of the Metro which is better for that, and more interesting to read too!

2. Don't buy that GPS/HRM/other stress inducing device
Relax, run faster and live longer!

If you already own one, get it on ebay quick before everyone else realises what a waste of money they are and beats you to it.

3. Energy gels/drinks
Who needs 'em. Those energy gels are just molten Jelly Babies, buy the real thing and save your cash.

And as for energy drinks, if Robinsons Lemon Barley Water was good enough for Pete Sampras, it's good enough for me. If you really must insist though, get yourself down the pound shop and pick up a 4-pack of Lucozade sport for a quid.

So there you have it, just some of the things that have made me the athlete I am today. Anyone else got any pointers to help me towards my next PB?

The worlds ugliest toes?

All that fell running takes it's toll on your feet, and my wife says that I have the ugliest toes in the world. Of course, I believe she's mistaken, and that they are indeed things of great beauty!

So here's a current snapshot of a few so you can decide for yourselves who's right and who's wrong (kids, cover your eyes)

I can't actually remember the time I last had a full complement of toenails. Shoes too small, too big. I've heard them all, but it makes no difference. My cross country spikes seem to be the worst offenders, but I've had bruised toenails in all types and makes of shoes.

Anyone else think they have "better lookers" ? Come on then, prove it!

What do you think the ladies should do with theirs? Show them off with pride and gain respect amongst their running peers, or should they disguise them with bright red nail varnish?

World Javelin Record attempt by Jon Wilkinson (written by Ron ‘funny man’ Stones)

On 5th June 1993 in our home Northern men’s league match at Spenborough, Jon Wilkinson will attempt a world record in the javelin. The current WR of 91.46 by Steve Backley is well within his reach.

To help Jon the club has been rallying round members & supporters to turn up and provide vocal & physical assistance. Two groups of helpers are needed, one group is to gather outside the fence in line with the start of the run up. The other group will be at the opposite end of the stadium – again outside the fence (we do not want to get Jon disqualified). The first group will be organised by ‘Big Pete’ Crampton (the blowers). The second group at the far side will be the suckers.

The idea is that when Jon releases his spear, the two groups will ‘explode’ into action and cause a movement of air that will carry the javelin those few extra meters needed to create a new World Record !.

Leading up to the big day, Pete’s group which includes other sprinters and some of his big meaty rugby mates will be in strict training culminating, so I’ve heard , with extra portions of beans, gassy ‘pop’ and lashings of boiled egg on the eve of the competition. This will create extra ‘puff’ by way of ‘farting’ and ‘belching’ to blast the javelin on its way.

The other group, as yet without a leader, is a little less organised and in fact is one or two members short . We actually need the same number of suckers as blowers in order to set up an equilibrium. If you wish to become a sucker, would you please contact Jon as soon as possible.